


How to cause Châteaupers to make a right decision?

by Kamahontas



Category: Notre-Dame de Paris | The Hunchback of Notre-Dame - Victor Hugo
Genre: Gen, Military, Paris (City)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 05:31:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14157861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamahontas/pseuds/Kamahontas
Summary: What happens when an author has the craziest dream ever? Well, you get a story set in Middle Ages with some modern accents.This story is generally inspired by the Victor Hugo's novel and has nothing to do with the Disney's adaptation. It's kinda like an alternative ending of the book, but it's focused on Phoebus de Châteaupers, who is my second favorite character, next to Pierre Gringoire.





	1. A RAT CAUSED IT ALL

**Author's Note:**

> I know that many readers might tell me that this has nothing in common with what was in the book, especially that I'm introducing new character (the story is written as kinda diary, but the main character isn't me, even though we wear the same name), but I just wanted to try. I got the idea for this story because of my crazy dream, which was pretty funny since it was like Middle Ages with elements of 21st Century (you'll see in the story). I just hope I kept the humor and it's as funny as my dream was. So, please don't get confused if you'll notice some impossible things, it has to be like this because that was my intention.
> 
> Anyway, hope you'll enjoy it. :)
> 
> P.S.  
> Sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my primary language.

A morning like any other at the French countryside, near Paris. But, no, something's different today. Why on earth are the soldiers searching the house of Fleur-de-Lys, their captain's fiancé? I'm just someone who helps the captain, you can call me a squire, but on the other hand… well, okay, I'm not a typical squire, cause I'm a girl. I'm just twenty. True, for my times, which is the end of Middle Ages, I'm rather old, but I don't care. At least I have an interesting life, and my job keeps the bread on my table anyway. Right now I was standing next to my captain, Phoebus de Châteaupers. The backyard of the house we were in front of, was pretty big and full of animals. Chickens, dogs, cats, I've even seen a rat running to the basement.

 

"Captain, why we're here?" I asked.

 

Phoebus played with his mustache cut in the Burgundy manner and gave me that look telling that it's not my business.

 

"If you have to know, Mademoiselle de Gondelaurier asked me if we could check her house because at night she heard a noise in her basement. Personally, I think she's just too soft, and any sound might fright her." Châteaupers was often making me surprised. One minute Phoebus was speaking in a rather harsh way to me, even though we liked each other, and when we were alone, or when he thought so, he treated me like his friend. It was just to keep in appearances. Well, never the less, he was my boss. I was to serve under his command.

 

"Well, if my opinion might be any help for you, I saw a rat that ran into the basement only a few minutes ago…"

 

However, we had to end our conversation, because the soldiers just exited the house with a young Gypsy among them. She had her hands tithed on her back, and with a sad face, she let the men lead her outside and then through the backyard, and, probably to Paris.

 

"Make sure she's at least a hundred yards from this house, then you can let her go!" Yelled Phoebus.

 

"I knew it!" I laughed.

 

"What?"

 

"Talk to your sweet fiancé, at first. She's just coming. I won't disturb you." I added and made few steps towards the gate. For a while, I was observing my boss talking to a young girl, way younger than me! Well, okay she was pretty. With blond long curly hair and blue eyes, that looked like two shining turquoises. No, it's not my comparison, Phoebus often uses it. And because I spent most of the time in his company, I already started to speak the way he does. Together with his horrible cursing! What's funny, he treats me like I was a boy. When we're not on our duty, we spend long hours in the tavern and having lots of wine and beer. I guess I can call myself captain's friend. For last four years, I've been his assistant and mate.

 

"Okay, Camille, I'm done with this popinjay. So, what you wanted to tell me about the basement?" Asked the captain as he approached me at the gate.

 

"That there's a rat, and it might make this noise that your Fleur heard." I grinned and slapped man's back. "But now, if we're on the topic of women. I mean, your women. What ya wanna do bout Esmeralda, hah?"

 

"Well…"

 

"You don't know, do you? Uhm… did Fleur-de-Lys thank you for a little gift from you?" Another big playful grin came across my face.

 

"No! You didn't buy her this soap!"

 

"Who else?! Of course I! A lily soap for Fleur-de-Lys and lavender one for Esmeralda."

 

"You're insane!" He laughed and returned the slap on my back. "But why lily and lavender, anyway?"

 

"Well, Fleur-de-Lys means lily, right? And why lavender? Just because that's Esmeralda's favorite flower."

 

"How you got know that?!"

 

I didn't have much time for a replay, because of these stupid girls from the retinue of Fleur-de-Lys choke Phoebus' attention off. It took a long while before he turned to me again. Of course, he had to flirt with this stupid girl. Not that I'm jealous, I don't care about the captain as for a man. I'm more of a platonic kind of a person. For me, friendship is something much more than love. Cause love might end, but friendship never does. Maybe it's ridicules, but I think I know Phoebus better than his fiancé herself.

 

"This popularity…" In captain's voice was a big dose of satisfaction. "So, going back to our conversation…" Now we went out the farm and stood at the bank of the nearby river. "You said lavender is Esmeralda's favorite flower… How you know that?"

 

"You know, escaping from home has its good points. I know I have a warm room, and as much food as I want only thanks to you. But, I was curious how the Court of Miracles looks like, and so I did. Now I'm one of them, so I have news from this second world."

 

"You're incredible! Hah, you're my best soldier I've ever had under command."

 

"I'd like to remind you, that I'm also your friend!"

 

Phoebus laughed and pushed me towards the river, but I cached my balance, so I didn't fall down. Yeah, definitely, Châteaupers was feeling like with his mate in my company. I guess that besides Esmeralda I was the only woman he really liked, true in a different way, but still, he liked me. Of course, now we also didn't have much time for talking, because another girl wanted to get captain's attention. I just rolled my eyes, and went off, to be back to the backyard of Fleur-de-Lys. And that was my luck, she noticed me and came over with this disguised grimace on her face.

 

"What were you doing there with my husband-to-be?" She asked harshly.

 

"Mademoiselle, there's nothing you have to be worried about. We had to discuss the details of our new orders, that's all."

 

"Why is it? A woman who serves in the army? Disgusting." I hated this stupid girl, she was often this means to me, but I had to be polite no matter what.

 

"Permit me, it is my way of earning the money. You should be proud of captain de Châteaupers, only thanks to him I have this job. If he wouldn't find me four years ago on the Place de Grève, I'd probably die of hunger and cold, but he took me in and gave a job. At first just for food and roof over my head, but after short lessons, I was ready to work for the Archers of the king."

 

"So, you are a common outcast?"

 

"Rather an evader. I was born in a wealthy family from Normandy. My name is Camille de Bernasack."

 

Fleur-de-Lys was slowly turning red on her face. She knew very well that I was from a better family than she was. She hated my friendship with her husband-to-be, and now when she got know that I'm actually under his care, she started to hate me even more.

 

"And now, if you will agree, let me check your basement once again. I think I know what made this noise at night, and I can assure you it was not a Gypsy girl we found."

 

And of course, as usual, I was right. After maybe five minutes I went out with a rat in a small linen bag. I went to the river, where the crazy captain was still talking to a brown-haired girl. Well, at least this one had some intelligence…

 

"Morning, Mademoiselle de Christeuil. How are you?" I asked as I stood on the bank of the river.

 

"I'm alright, thank you. We were just talking about you, Camille. The captain told me about your clever idea about…

 

"About a rat?" I asked playfully, showing the bag I was still holding, in hope that the animal won't escape me before drowning it. "I was right. I have it here." I grinned.

 

"As usual, ready to prove your rights. That's what I taught you."

 

Yeah, again I earned a commendation from the captain in front of a noble lady. I love my job. And to think that a rat caused it all.


	2. HOW TO CAUSE THE CAPTAIN TO MAKE THE ONLY ONE, GOOD CHOICE?

We stayed at the farm for the rest of the day. It was early afternoon when I already got bored of the company of these stupid girls. Oh, what I'd give for a big mug of beer in the tavern. I also dreamed of something to eat. Only Phoebus was lucky to get a dinner. Well, he was at his fiancé's so it was obvious. But, even though I was the only soldier that got an order to stay, I didn't get even a glass of wine! I lost my patience and asked Châteaupers for permission to leave for two hours.

"I'm starving, can't you let me go for a while. It's not far to Ville from here. I should be back within two hours." I asked through clenched teeth.

"Alright, alright. Go, you lazy…"

"A, a, watch it. You're among ladies." I grinned and left the house. Before I turned back, so I was facing the door, I saw Phoebus' grimace. I thought I will laugh there outright. He looked so funny, that if it would be at La Fête de Fues, he'd be their pope for sure! Next time when we'll get drunk in the tavern I'll tell him about it. Right now, however, as soon as I was on the road, I made my way to La Cour des miracles. I hoped Esmeralda will already be there, so she might save my stomach. Well, if her crazy husband didn't eat everything. I even liked Pierre Gringoire, we had much in common, especially the philosophy of the life. He also preferred the friendship over love. Pretty interesting guy, a poet, and troubadour, well, at least he says so. "I'm Gringoire the poet. I'm the prince of streets of Paris" He says… Funny, I always thought that Clopin Trouillefou was the king of all the outcasts, and only he could give the titles to his people, but oh well, I didn't care that much. As long as I could enter his territory without any harm done to my body. At least I could always count on something to eat. Of course, most of my money for last few weeks were spent for gifts for Fleur-de-Lys and Esmeralda. I was paying for something that was said to be from Phoebus. But, come on, I had a dept of gratefulness to pay!

"Camille!" I heard the voice of Gringoire behind me. "Glad to see you. Where have you been for last two days? Esmeralda and I started to be worried."

"Oh, there's nothing to be worried about, monsieur Gringoire. I was in barracks with the rest of soldiers. Captain de Châteaupers sent me for the night guard, and then in the morning, I had to go with him and his men to the house of his fiancé. I hate this stupid girl. But, never mind. How you've been doing recently?"

"Good, thank you. I started my new poem."

"Great. So, I can't wait till it is finished, so I can read it." I know, I'm a hypocrite. The truth is, Pierre's poems were so boring that even a mass was more interesting. But, he was the one who gave me a place to stay at the Court of Miracles, so I didn't want to disappoint him.

"Captain de Châteaupers… I hear a lot about him for last few days… Of course, if we're talking about captain Phoebus de Châteaupers."

"No one else, monsieur Gringoire. The same old lady's man and drunker. Yes."

"I thought you were his friend…"

"F-R-I-E-N-D. True, but it's not what you think. Well, because I don't have any better comparison, let's take you and Esmeralda. You're married, but she loves Phoebus, and you're alright with that, cause you prefer the platonic relationships. In my case, captain de Châteaupers is my boss, I have to follow his orders, but when we're not on duty we spend long hours in tavern drinking lots of wine. Sometimes with Jehan Frollo, but he doesn't have money that often, so I'm a better company. Often Phoebus gets on my nerves, but oh well, at least I have money thanks to him."

"Materialist! But, I like you anyway."

"Merci, monsieur Gringoire."

Soon we were at our destination. Esmeralda's chamber wasn't big but as for her and the goat, Djali, it was enough.

"Hey, Esmeralda. How are ya?" I asked entering the room behind Gringoire. "My boss asks if you got his gift." Don't tell me this again, I know, I'm a terrible liar.

"Oh yes." This strange sight she was always making when thinking of Phoebus was strange the least. "Please, if you happen to see him, tell him that I'm very grateful for his kindness."

"I will don't worry. He'll know it even today. I have to be at my duty in an hour, so…"

"Oh, how lucky you are. You can spend so much time by his side…"

"Pshaw! Not so much of a luck as you think. At least for me. He's my boss. But, if we're still at his topic, he'd like to meet you again. And luckily I have a small house behind the walls of Paris… I think I can let you two meet there… tonight…" I looked at Gringoire. "Sorry, I know it's not a pleasure for you to listen to this, but oh come one, we both know very well that you love Djali more."

"Hey! You're smarter than I expected." Was it another complaint from a man? Hey, cool, I'm getting popular. The more friends the better. Yes, I am very self-concentrated, but who wouldn't be after four years of being the closest worker and friend of someone who loves himself as much as Phoebus de Châteaupers does.

"Anyway. Esmeralda, if you want to see your sun, or however you use to call this freak, come with me now, so I'll show you where this house is. And you'll wait there until Phoebus come, okay?" Now I turned to the poet again. "Whoa! Leave me at least one piece of this bread! I haven't eaten since yesterday's morning!"

"Maybe you'd like some beer too?" He asked with some dose of sarcasm.

"Worth-while."

"Sorry, there's only some old wine and couple wrinkled apples left."

"No beacon, no bread? Just apples and wine? No, you still have this crazy manner of eating everything that is in front of you on the table?!"

"Yes, he eats really a lot." Commented Esmeralda.

"Wonderful. So, will it be any problem if I'd have one apple and this 'old' wine?" I asked with faith in my voice.

"You can take 'em all. Oh, and in the cupboard, you should find some bread. It might be bit dry already because it was for Djali, but I think one or two pieces won't make her any difference."

"Thanks! Phoebus is right you're an angel. Forgive me for not calling you ange noir de ma vie, but well, firstly I'm not Châteaupers to say such crazy things, and secondly I prefer men."

It passed maybe a quarter and Esmeralda was walking hand in hand with me, as we were going to a small house I owned. I didn't like to live there because it was rather far from the city, and the night guard never came there, so I just didn't feel safe, plus what was more important it'd take me half an hour to get to the barracks for my job. But when I had few days free, for last year it wasn't too often, cause Phoebus was sending me for the guard. Well, I was old enough to even have my own group to keep the night guard on streets of Paris. I was a pretty good soldier, and the captain trusted me, so I had a high position in the army. Even though I had no rank. Well, often the respect is more important than even the highest rank. But, coming back to the storyline. I let Esmeralda into the house I already mentioned. It wasn't a typical hut near the city. It was sorta alchemist's workshop. Lots of different herbs, books, and other stuff. For last couple months, I was working on traveling in time, but we all know it is impossible. Of course, our wise Dom Claude Frollo often says that in a way we're traveling in time every day, when we see the old walls of Notre Dame, or when we try to read old notes of Flamel, and the others. Not mentioning the poems of Homer, who describes for us the times of Ancient Greek. But physically we cannot go back in time, to change some of our decisions, nor to the future, to skip few years for example.

"Okay, so you stay here, and I'll let the captain know that you're waiting for him. He'll come don't worry. That's my job to make him come." With that said I went to the door, but I turned to the Gypsy girl. "Oh, but better don't try any of these herbs. I'm still not sure of most of them. But, in this chest you're sitting on you should find some wine. 1470 Burgundy, I guess. Maybe not the best year as for the wine, but oh well, if there's nothing else even this is good."

"When Phoebus will come?"

"Not sure, but let's say I'll bring him at sunset, alright?"

"Uhm…" She made this, so characteristically for her, grimace on her pretty face. Often I had an impression that she's only a child. In fact, she was only four years younger than me. A Gypsy dancer, but with her beauty she already cast the spell on four men. Well, okay, three. The problem was, I was serving under one of them.

I will not describe the following events because they're too obvious. They can be told in one or two lines. Of course, I went back to where Châteaupers was, and using the moment when I could talk to him in privacy, or at least in the company of only animals less intelligent than a goat.

"Alright, hope these roosters aren't so clever as Djali… Phoebus, I presume you don't have the night guard tonight? Or if you do, you'll send me instead of yourself?"

"What you have on your mind this time?" He asked like he was riding my mind.

"Well, I just have enough of this tricks I have to invent to make you make the decision, so… knowing you better than I know myself, you have a rendezvous with your Gypsy lover tonight." I grinned. "She's waiting in a place where no one will find you. I'll take you there as soon, as you'll be free from Fleur-de-Lys."

"You said me with Esmeralda for tonight?!" He yelled.

"Shut up, you stupid! They'll hear ya. Of course, I did. You think that I will bear you being torn apart between Esmeralda and this stupid bitch? Please, for Goodness sake, don't be rational this one time in your life, and just follow your feelings. I know very well that somewhere deep in your heart you love this Gypsy! You think I don't know who you're calling at night when you're drunk? Of course, I know, cause I'm just behind the wall in my room, just in case you'd get sick. Well, often you do, so someone has to be there, so you won't get chocked with your own vomit! Yes, I am vulgar now, but you're no better. So, say farewell to Fleur, and we're off."


	3. A SOLDIER AND AN ALCHEMIC MIGHT BE THE SAME

Freak, will I finish what I have to tell this moron at least once?! Again one of this dolls, who pretended to be Fleur-de-Lys' friend, came towards us and grabbing Phoebus' handled him to the other corner of the backyard. This time, I followed the two, so I was close enough to hear what they're talking about. Of course, it was as banal as it only could be. The girl was trying to flirt with Phoebus, but he was almost indifferent. I knew him long enough to know this expression that his face was showing. He was thinking about something very serious.

'Ha, at last!' I thought. "Uhm… Captain, I hate to cut your conversation off, but I'm afraid we have to go now. We're needed in town." I made this frown that was telling "come on you lady's man, ya gotta go to your woman", but I forgot how blind my boss can be. He didn't care that much, about my expression nor my words. I must say I hate this about him. I'm glad I'm just his friend. I'd really make him hurt otherwise. I lost my patience for the third time today, and just pulled the captain out the farm, and led him into the direction of my little hut, but we were stopped by the family's servant. I rolled my eyes. Freak, not now!

"Please, help us. We need a doctor. Little Marie is very sick, she has a high fever!"

What we had in common with it? He was only a captain of the king's archers and I was one of his soldiers. Okay, I knew this and that about medicine and alchemy, but only Phoebus knew about it.

"Anyone who knows at least some alchemy is more than welcomed to give us a call." Yes, a call. You didn't misread it. It's just a time for an explanation before we'll be back to the story. This is a history based on author's weird dream. In which the Middle Ages are a bit more modern, which makes them absurd. And that's what the author wanted to show, the craziness of imagination in dreams. So, if you see any disagreement between the Middle Ages and the events in this story, it is because it has to be like this because it is author's idea. So, going back to the plot.

"Come one, captain," I said. "We have our duties. But, I'll send for someone, who will come to see what's wrong with the girl."

The captain was still trying to look back, but I pulled him so strongly, that he almost lost his balance, so he gave up to me and let me take him to the house I owned. After maybe twenty minutes we were on the place. The two of us entered the old wooden building to find Esmeralda sitting on the chest in the very same position as she did when I left her here. I locked the door and took a key to my pocket.

"Okay, you two. Now, you have two options, or you're staying here, or ya can… elope, or whatever. Just do something, so you'll be together. I have enough of my stupid games to make you being a couple. So, think of it, and now please, let me make the medication they need so badly."

No idea where I had this from, but I took two pills of Paracetamol, some herbs like mint, chamomile and made a powder of them, then at the end I put some honey into it, and made some kind of bulk. When it was ready, I just looked at the two, who was still there.

"Don't you think you should find a place for you? Well, okay you can keep this hovel, but from time to time I need to work here, you know? Plus, Phoebus, isn't it bit too close to Fleur's farm? Shouldn't ya find something even out of…"

"You were so into preparing the medication that you haven't heard. We're leaving for Andalusia tomorrow morning. Because I trust only you, please be so kind, and take my function, okay? I'll prepare everything for you within an hour."

"Thanks. So, now I am to give orders to your men, cool. But, I'll agree on one condition."

"Maybe I'll agree…"

"You will write few words from time to time. Just to let me know if you're still alive. Cause I guess you might lose the control…" He hated my implied meanings. He always knew what I really mean.

"You've got it."

"Okay. So I'm waiting for the documents. But now, I'm going to see this child. Ya can stay here, I guess you have lots of topics to talk about…" Again an allusion. Yeah, I'm pretty mean, especially to Phoebus de Châteaupers.

So, we're close to the end. I have no idea what the captain and the Gypsy did after I went off, but as I was back at night they were gone, and the documents for me were on the table, together with a short note:

Thank you for making your captain make the only one good choice.

Phoebus de Châteaupers.

I guess this will make you wonder, my fair reader. The girl soon felt better after getting the medication. And once again, here comes and absurd. Of course in Middle Ages, no one could know about this substance, even an alchemic, but I remind you once more, it's based on author's wired dream. And what about the captain and La Esmeralda? Well, in opposition to the book, they finally got married (here's a small similarity to the Disney's adaptation) and had pretty good life in a small house in the hills of Andalusia.


End file.
